Poeticonscious

Glancing Back

2010-02-19T07:10:00.000-08:00

I glance back, to glance at
My past, and victorious combats,
But some wouldn’t believe,
What I have achieved, through grieve,
So please, ask me not about me,
But who I learned to become,
And I’ll try to sum,
Between the violin and drums,
conveying my sadness,
You can hear my voice trembling, while I confess
in tears and words, I combine,
Hand in hand, they define and
draw the lines, of me and they
Only to find, that ‘they’
Are left ___ behind.

I blindly, glance back,
to glance at
My past, and
victorious combats.
(humming)

In Silence, I Spoke

2010-02-19T07:09:00.002-08:00

Today, I spoke in silence,
Uttered my pain, and spat my past
Only to be heard by my enemy
Who stood and gazed,
Wrapped his thoughts around me,
And made love to my vision,
Trying to figure out my weakness,
Surrendered hopelessly, but I beg not.
Silence is golden, but I’m poor
Deprived from my rich elements,
Robbed from me,
Is my valuable self,
That only I dreamt about, often
He touches my soul, whispers in my ears
I, quiver,
He, continues,
“tell me more, my future”
I nod no, but do otherwise,
Unable, to help myself from speaking,
Speaking, in silence.

The Rhythm Of Rhyme

2010-02-19T07:09:00.001-08:00

One two,
One two, mic check,
(coughs)
I introduce the beat to my ears, swear it sounds so sweet,
I check my microphone, while I tap my feet to the beat,
I then greet, those who understand the lyrics of the street,
"Salaam World, please go ahead and take a seat,"
I put my head down, and I get ready to be discreet,
I beg you with my eyes, to open your earlobe, and listen
Cause my words are borrowed from those who don't glisten,
...the poor and the unfortunate, and I swear I feel sickened,
So I rhyme from the heart, to make you feel what I'm spitting,
and my spit is heavy, it might feel like the rainy season,
I'm tired of asking for a reason, so I bare their treasons,
I don't bother speaking --I carry signs of words with me,
I figured they read more then they listen to my apathy,
I swear I sense the agony, those held in political detainee,
I replay the verses of Bob Marley in my head, and I feel it innerly,
I want to fight for the their rights, but I'm too angry,
and mom said, coldest fight is being friendly to your enemy,
So I share a laughter or two, while I deceit them happily,
Pregnant with worries of my countrymen, feeling so heavily,
Unconsciously, I persistently write songs about my country,
So please excuse me, if you can't relate to me ...
To be continued ...

I Ran, Away I Ran

2010-02-19T07:07:00.000-08:00

I conceal my true feelings
denying the existence of love, by
burying the sun beneath the clouds,
And the moon from lighting my soul,
I run
Run
Away, I run
To a place I can heal,
Patch up the wound, caused by your smile,
Cure my heart, from the words not spoken,
Your face, converted into a day dream,
Only dreamt at night. Sleepless I am,
I bang my head on the wall, aching to escape,
Escape from the echoes of your "Hi's" and "Goodbyes"
And the words that haven't been formed yet,
Seventy-two hours, and twenty four minutes ago,
Alone we sat. Stood. Stared, in Silence,
While we hummed melodies made from amity,
Trying to ferret out of this taciturnity,
As your eyes gleamed,
My lips suffocate the words,
Speechless, yet full of lyrics to sing,
*Whistles of an unknown tune*
I ran
Ran,
Away I ran,
To a place of remorse,
Where the roads never end,
And love is far behind,
I ran with embryonic thoughts,
Fragments of your reflection,
On the day of our greeting,
Your beauty, your being
Bouncing in my brain,
I have believed once, that I can deny
To rebuff feelings that is far in distance,
But truth has arrived, alone,
Sitting still, sadly on a Sunday noon,
I sat, an spat my plea,
With my eyes closed,
I ran, away I ran. Free

2009-02-24T21:40:00.000-08:00

I’d breathe less,
Sleep in conscious,
Form thoughts
of my new address,
I’d walk alone, in darkness,
Speak to God, and express,
Confess, hoping He’d hear me
and sense my word stress,
I’d embrace my mother,
Kiss my sister,
Hug my brother,
And eagerly await for my father,
Only wishing to meet him after,
And then my Love,
I only dwell in the conscience
Of regretting not to love him, sooner,
So I’d write him a goodbye letter,
No, better, yet
See you later.

Jealousy Got The Best Of Me ...

2009-02-16T01:27:00.000-08:00

A year later you`ve received a call,
From an ex girl-friend, whom now you call a pall
You tell me the story in excitement and I listen uncomplaining,
But feeling uncomfortable with the situation and what you`re saying,
Thinking of the impossible and having this fear,
You ask me babes are you there?
Oxygen fades away and I`m breathless,
Don`t know what to say, and I`m speechless,
Imagination lopes wild like a little child,
She used to cross miles to make you smile,
I say Yes honey I`m still present.
So you continue the tell me the story,
--bout you and her having history, but it really concerns me,
Cause I really don`t believe in having an Ex as a Homie,
I recall the session of us trying to solve the situation,
And having one on one conversation,
If I`m okay with you and your ex having an amity?
You see

Okay I`ll say, but not if she is calling you everyday,
I can`t grasp having nightmares of her taking you away,
Call me psychosomatic for feeling so static,
But it`s chaotic how I predict like a psychic,

Maybe I whisper, if she remains like a sister,
And there is no cross-over and you can`t call her,
And she is not permitted to cross the border and that is an order!

No I mumble, while with the thought I struggle,
Why do you have to bundle if she`s already a couple?
Okay, hmmm give me a minute or two,
What if she is still in love with you?
What am I supposed to do?

Questions got the best of me,
I`ve never felt this jealousy,
But this is a challenge to be against my own sanity!
(So Qalbi bare with me)

El, Ow .v.

2008-10-19T14:32:00.000-07:00

El,
Ow
.v.

Like the bay tree,
Lying with passion
Hearing the waves passing
Shifting from side to side
Sifting from wrong to right
Unlike, the liquid of rain and rivers
Bored with tasteless drifters.
Watching the sun, set
Observing the secret,
On how the stars imitate the tales of
El,
Ow
.v.
Like the Messengers of God,
Loving the uneven --and odd,
See love, had
Depicted pigments to show hurt
Love had unspoken words
An action showed, by the widow birds
Whistling songs of pain
Soaked with tears of bitter rain,
Blues
Tunes, of their blood fuse,
Everlasting bruise, like
The engraved tat’toos,
El
Ow
.v.
We undervalue
by I, and you
Ending with I, and who?
Lies is confound with the truth,
And now the truth, can be lies too,
See, love was good,
Before it was Ms. Under. stood,
Before she satisfied, your manhood,
And before he, could but
El
Ow
.v.
See, it was those days,
Before the deceptive phase,
Where dreams would chase,
And dreams would embrace,
The modest and grace,
Love knew its partner,
And it would hunt her,
And the clouds would cover
Like the womb of a mother,
While she hover

El
Ow
.v.
Knows me
And I know him,
Cause I was his victim
When my life was dim,
I was captured by sin,
Tortured to sin, and sin
Was his only way to grin,
But I persisted to grim,
Insisted to be virgin,
For Heaven spoke to me
And I was supposed to be,
Supposedly, with
Mary,
Facing Mecca,
Conversing,
Observing, the sinful,
An act of evil,
Because
El
Ow
.v.
Is a counterfeit of
L.o.v.e.

There Will Be a Day

2008-10-19T14:31:00.000-07:00

There will be a day,
where I
Will only hear the fading
of my existence,
A day where my being
Will linger through
my poetry,
Where recognition
Is the ignition of my past,
And the past will be
The lone thing that will last,
My name will only
Be declared by
The pen
I used to embrace,
The paper
I used to stroke,
Love will forget me,
And those before
Who spoke in vain
Will now speak in
Pain
My goods
Will be buried
Beneath the soil,
Where I will meet
The unknown,
And the unknown
Will greet
And welcome me to a home
Assembled by the
Contingent of my moral,
There will be a day,
Sure will be the day
Where my existence will fade
But my words will endure
You will hear my name,
In the intone of scripts
Written by age,
The meaning is less
In my time of being,
But it shall increase
After my passing.
My end,
Shall be your
New beginning,
And that day,
You will remember
Me.
That day,
Will be the day
I am history!
You’ll flip through the text books,
Pages 1 2 and 3
And I will be in between
Black
Woman,
And Islamic Mystery
You will find my face
Grinning on those chapters,
And you will study my misery
My struggle, and pain
The blood I rained,
The life I have gained
You will learn that
my life was in fact
Always intact
With my roots,
And that my people,
Where the people,
That chanted, and hummed
In the land of poetry
Far in the East of
Africa,
Where my mother gave
Birth to a daughter
And named her,
Me.
There will be a day
You will read
Her story,
Your
history!

My Precious Portrait

2008-09-01T21:12:00.000-07:00

I cried for confinement
In my mothers' womb,
To be unseen
And untouched
By the enemy of God,
I lingered to shut my eyelids,
Until
I heard the humming of my mother,
She embraced me with a pleasant scent
That can only be created
By love,
And care.
She held onto me, every night with affection
As I cried
Craving for her attention,
Yearning for her touch,
And longing to be nourished.
We cherished one and another
Through cries
And sleepless hours of darkness.
I'd smile
With gleaming eyes
As I hear
Her footsteps
Coming to safe me
From unfamiliar world.
She was my teacher,
And coach
In life,
She gave me strength
When I was weak
To live endlessly
In a finite world,
She'd wiped my tears,
And gave me confidence.
She made me,
Strong and brave,
Through her story,
Struggle for survival,
Only to survive
For me,
She dodged death,
And escaped
Mysterious enemies,
Forever indebted,
After God it is she I live to serve.

Ghastly Streets of Mogadishu

2008-08-30T19:15:00.000-07:00

I overheard a sad song, sang in my mother’s tongue,

Theatre of war, in the streets of loneliness! She said
Where death is the only comrade for the sad,
Where smiles are the shadows and frowns lead,
Where knowledge is grasped through hate, and greed

In these streets, devotion is far ahead,
We tried to pull along side, but failed! She said
And now, we whistle our anthem
As the words are forgotten,

In these dusky streets,
Spirits are abducted, by the devil,
Captured and tortured until they spill,
Now enraged and ill
With animosity, that can only kill,

In these painful streets,
Bits of rocks are stained with blood,
Happy dreams are left to rot,
Bullets are praised, instead of God,
New born, were born for hopes and future
But in these streets, they’re forgot,

See these streets, have death as their mark,
Nothing like Hollywood blvd, where they spark,
Pavements are painted with sad veneer,
Blood as their only ink, brushing the frontier,

In these cruel streets,
Neighbors walk with frowns
As they hold their head down,
While they hear the “Bang Bang” sound,
The only tune, played by this town,”

In these streets,
Mothers are left alone
Children wondering on their own,
While fathers decay in the combat zone,
Out here, cause of death is mostly unknown,
But death is our only homegrown.

*To Be Continued*

Hi Hater

2008-08-10T13:00:00.000-07:00

Why persist to hate, I wonder,
Cause everywhere I go, I see a hater,
Flashing his words, like it matters,
Opening her mouth, and splatters –negativity,
As if hating is a social activity, for those that lack creativity,
We ought to face the reality,
And delete “haters” from the human society,
Murder every hater you see,
Don’t matter what age they’d be,
Cause lately,
*Mumbles* Even old people, be hating on me,
I swear, it’s too much energy,
To be hating on a certain degree,
But truly, I hate haters that hate,
How will you see the heaven’s gate?
When all you do is hate?
You need to migrate,
And come to the loving state,
A place where all you do is appreciate,
It’s never too late,
So come and cross the road,
Smile, as you cross, and change the mode,
In the “Loving State” you have to consign an oath,
Cause we have “never hating” policy code,
We sing Kumbaya and hold hands,
Something you never did in the Hater lands,
So ladies and gents lets come together,
And let us avoid being a hater.

Mother Africa

2008-08-07T01:34:00.000-07:00

Dearest mother,
It has always been hard for me to write you a poem,
I’d burst into tears, due to my absence of home,
I wrote you millions of letters, conveying my heart,
Letters couldn’t express my feelings, it couldn’t impart,
I’m shaking as I’m writing this, wish you were here,
I can smell your presents, and the thought is sincere,
I ponder about our alone times, and embrace the notion,
Never saw you after the catastrophe, after the commotion,
Never understood the reason, but the memory couldn’t inter --

Oh mother,
I can only wonder
And imagine you, closer,
I thought I’d come back for you, when the hate was over,
But it only got worse, to an extend your children dispersed,
And I know you’re disturbed to see your children diverse
Into the white-mans land,
A land, you and I, can never understand,

Oh mother,
I love you, like my mother,
But you left me as an orphan, with fading ink,
Reeling to find you, but I only sink,
I hoped and wished for a new life, but couldn’t stop the blink,
Now I sleep with open eyes, because I can’t stop to think
If you’re still alive, or if death has come to arrive,
If so, will you return back for those that survived,
I know our faith has been torn,
As if we were cursed, before we were born,
But I shall no more mourn, and grieve in tears,
For I have sunk in pain, in the past years,
I’ve been in the nadir of despair,
I embraced a gloomy air, in hope to see you here,
But I only see orphans, just like myself,
Speaking in the language of hate, in need for help,
But I continue to
blindly steer this journey of mine,
In hope to --find you in time,
But linger to be a victim of a hopeless crime,

Mother,
Will I ever
See you, ever,
Or will I never
See you smiling broadly,
Laugh loudly,
Make you proud --of me,
Or will I remain an orphan
With no land,
Will I tell the tales on how my life began
With no happy end?

...a sister who is not proud

2008-07-02T04:25:00.000-07:00

Have you looked in my eyes, recently?
Without your thought, mulling over your sexuality,
Fearing, your temptations will erupt in front of me,
Have you glanced at my history?
By looking at my curvy hips, and glossy lips?
Reversed your glancing trip, so your mind gets to grips?
Have you taken semi-concealed look?
Before the pages close, in your manly book,
Have you stolen words, from a cheap crook?
Scripted with “I, (maybe, never), will, marry you”
Have I satisfied you, with no giving clues?
Can you predict my past, by looking at my eyes?
Truly, tell me, can you tell me, without lies?
All the suffering I have been through and the cries?
All the love I’ve given and the passion in your lives?
All the questions asked, and the provided whys?
Have I not given birth, to a warrior, and you?
…Have you sung the blues, without sad tunes?
Have you run tracks, in the divided dunes?
Lost and hopeless, in the month of June,
Is the breath I breathe, the heat your mind consumes?
Are you attuned to my figure, and the steady picture?
Is your mind intoxicated with the simulated liquor?
Have you followed a path, with unwritten direction?
Have you bared lust, in a scripted affection?
Have you jumped on a wagon, with body full of rejections?
Have you build ambitions, without a chosen perfection?
Truly, tell me, can you tell me, without lies?
Without the need to improvise in your old guise,
Would you have looked at me, if my body was disguised?
Would you have devised your words into diluted lies?
What is it that my body has informed your mind?
That left you undefined and blind, combined,
That made you walk undermined and immodest, entwined,
I stand firm, in the past of my fathers,
…Those men that stood still against time,
Fought with pen, and strengthened rhyme,
…Those that rose up only to climb higher,
Full of ambitions and fulfilling desire,
I question your thoughts, for I have doubts,
Before you gazed, and stood as a frisky scout,
Have you not thought speaking of a unique route?
For I am familiar in this road of deformed crowd,
I have past the devil, for I gave him a clout,
I reached this stance, because I am devout
You are a man, whose pity must come out,
And I am a woman, a mother, and sister who is not proud.

Death

2008-06-28T00:53:00.000-07:00

I met him,
Through my despair,
Of my unwilling conscious,
We had a dynamic dialogue,
In the darkness of night,
He rapt me in his arms
Embracing my life, firmly,
We were both in a mission,
To be completed in time,
He was urgent, and I was naïve,
Not grasping the end of mine,
I linger in a life, designed for evil,
Oh, how I am out of reach for my soul,
I cried in my formation, questioning why!
Now, reckoning with the answer granted,
I didn’t have time to think of you, Oh death,
But now that I met you, I wish I had,
It’s not your look that I fear, but the thought
The thought of you and I –being in a room,
In a night that is impotent to resume,
I grin with fear –accepting the notion,
I know you’re in a hurry,
But can we chat before I leave,
I have questions to ask, and perhaps
Help me gain knowledge,
Of why I exist,
Why I persist to breathe,
Explain the yearning of my life,
The sweet tasting life,
Oh life,
Must I leave you, now?
Torn asunder, body into soil,
Assigned to fit collectively,
Perfection, made by God,
Plan to destroy, by death,
I can smell your haste,
The restless of your stick,
Imperatively in need,
To end of my life –
Oh God, let this be,
My last tears,
Let me wake up, in bliss
In the garden of heaven,
Sitting with my past,
Embracing my future,
In this, infinite life!
Revulsion of self,
Depicted by moral,
Shadow reality,
Imprisoned in a womb,
Then I am freed, but still
Shackled in a dream,
Running loose, like bats,
I am blind, not deaf
I can hear the calling,
Craving for lies,
Until this moment,
I can see, clearly
But unable to hear,
I can finally

see death,
And death,
Can at last

hear

Oh, How I Wish To Be Her

2008-06-14T15:17:00.000-07:00

She was young and beautiful,
The type to embrace the innocent,
Blue eyes, blond hair,
Steady like a model figure,
A coke bottle picture,
The sort you’d capture
somewhere up on the freeway,
The brand that would twist your neck
craving like an addict,
Wishing it was you, in that mini skirt
Envy, and she easily stimulates your senses,
A look of her, makes you imagine
and dream about the impossible,
She’d give you hope, and reasons to cope
with life and its fucked up obstacles,
The way she walks and talks, like a rock star,
She seems to understand your mind
when everyone gave up on you,
She makes you see the light
In a room, full of gloom and absence,
Oh, how I wish to be her,
Sinful but yet an angel in presence of me,
Criminal but yet innocently proven guilty,
Deceitful but yet exquisitely a true liar,
Beautiful, but yet repulsive in fire,
Oh, how she resembles the devil,
Oh, how I wish to be her.

[I want the readers to be aware of the precise stance of this poem. Some poems are abstract or nonfigurative; in this circumstance I’m wishing to be the devil, but there is a major message behind this specific concept. At times, you’re drawn to become something that your conscious is far from wanting to be; I’m not saying that you wish to be the devil, but at times you surely wish to be what he appears to be, and he misleads the innocent into becoming EVIL, by displaying EVIL to be cool and accepted.]

To sustain your own quality, you’d have to endure and tolerate your own value, and believes. Don’t let that be misled.

Wanting To Meet Love

2008-04-28T03:14:00.000-07:00

Love;
Yeah, I wonder what joy it brings,
Or how it clings to pain and things,
How it swings in between –the life ring,
Is it safe –shall I be brave and go in blind,
Or stay behind, from the rest of mankind,
Can love make up one’s mind, and assign a new life?
Can it build a house and give comfort to a new wife?
Can it safe a relationship, without the need to strive?
I wonder, if love is magic,
If it brings joy and entertainment, as well as tragic,
Provide angels wings, and befall the devils’ walking stick,
I wonder, if love is bitter,
The charm of glitter, raining in a hot weather,
Or the flame of fire, embracing the snowy winter,
I still wonder, if love is bending
Like a sad movie, with happy ending,
Or crying with tears, with joy mending
I appeal to feel this surreal dream,
I want to reveal what I persist to deem,
Love I hear, like a surround sound,
Love I feel, like an earthquake underground,
It keeps me wondering under suspense,
I want to meet love, and have lovely experience.

Dreams of Me

2008-04-03T11:49:00.000-07:00

She was lost in the path of darkness,
Looking for me,
She embraced evil in her chest,
Hoping to feel me,
She cried, tears of pain and agony,
Only to see me,
She spoke with fear,
Wanting to kiss me,
She carried herself with lack of respect,
To draw attention to me,
She felt hopeless --not knowing what hope is,
Yearning for me,
She tore her heart apart and bled,
To be numb from me,
She wanted to be back home,
Alone with me,
She was anxious to be alone,
Incomplete without me,
Dreams of me,
Kept her awake constantly,
She wanted to be free,
But I wouldn’t let her be,
Who am I, and who is she?
I am her, and she is me.

Dear God

2008-02-22T10:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Allah, I sit here trembling with fear,
Knowing that the End of Days is drawing to us near,
All the scripted signs continue to appear each year,
With ignorance we ignore, while it seems so clear,
Forgive me Allah, for you have been sincere,
Gave me all that I needed, gave me the right gear,
Warned me with signs, and the words of the Holy book,
Gave me happiness, and showed me death but I still overlook,
Forgive my stupidity, for ignorance is never accepted,
Tactlessly I fell in a trap --I shouldn’t have adapted,
…the westerns’ boldness,
It’s a progress that needs your bless, so I can clean this mess,
Please Allah, accept my request-- for I am a slave put into test,
Let me win this battle, let me digress away with success,
Put me into heavenly rest until the day You assess,
…the day You behest, the day all the living confess,
…the day the Angels attest, the day we ask for another chance,
…but chance was giving to us in advance, in our careless stance,
The devil put us in trance --hypnotized us to glance so we trans
…from the truth, to lies and shake hands to become good friends,
But let this be a day, where Satan and I become enemies,
…become rivalry in this life of me, to discover his hidden keys,
To unlock the hidden disease, and release the pain along with the rest of the abductees,
Let me please, become a true Muslim while living in ease --see
I want to feel the breeze, I want to feel the peace
…while I increase praising
Al^Azeez, The Defeater --who can never be defeated,
Al^Jabaar, The Compeller --who His compels is completed,
Al^Khaaliq, the Creator -- who made us from clay and perfected
…perfected my appearance, and gave me self-esteem,
…I thank You -- Al’Raheem

Suicide Letter

2008-02-09T10:56:00.001-08:00

Please don’t cry –as I explain the reasons why,
It was life I couldn’t led and live –
It was time for me to get out and give,
I know mother, you will get mad for what I’ve done,
But hopefully this letter will explain why I had to run,
Please mother understand –this life I couldn’t stand,
The angel of death had me taken my life with my own hand,
It wasn’t painful I have to say –
Prayed Maqrib before I took my life away,
But I’ll admit –it was murder crime I committed,
And I know these sort of things aren’t permitted,
But I’m tired of running circles in the same track
So please God forgive me –as I give my life back,
I know I might face nothing like grace,
Questions in my grave awaits as my body is put in place,
I will hear the woe, so mother don’t you cry,
And if they ask “why I committed suicide?” this is why!

Poetry Addict

2008-02-09T10:53:00.001-08:00

I need pen to write my inner thoughts
Articulate the struggle my people fought,
The motive that brought my distraught,
I persist to be overwrought,
I need paper to leak on,
Pen to breath on,
And words to keep on--expressing,
Repressing my freedom while recessing violence,
Distressing warlords with equal social defense,
So we can give happiness a chance,
I feed people the truth through poetry,
And poetry feeds me the clear glossary,
The distinction to what’s close to me,
Close to be free, from insanity,
We can make change, as we look back in our history,
Spot the things we miss to see, that left us in mystery,
I shall not plea guilty, but set my people free from misery,
Stand up for liberty, and trade vanity for empathy for my country,
…I continue to demand, to live under the white man,
…thinking it’s a clear stand, standing under his right hand,
Not noting his invisible command, that continues to expand,
Yes we can,
Indeed we can have peace, whenever we please,
Breathe and inhale while you feel the breeze,
Be grateful when you seize the moments of ease,
Understand the keys of life to a certain degrees,
My mental stage intends to freeze when-I’m without my pen,
I’m addicted to poetry, which kills me once again.

Imagine

2007-11-23T15:55:00.000-08:00

Imagine, to never be seen by another soul,
Visualize, walking down the earth without a goal,
Imagine never feeling the ache for love,
Never have the fear human, but only the above,
Imagine never needing money, just a paper grown from a tree,
Never needing a friend, just another human to be set free,
Imagine fighting in a war without a gun, but with serenity,
Imagine giving the poor what they need, food and charity,
Imagine taking away the rich what they greed, money and popularity,
Imagine if death never existed, then life would have been never-ending,
But some plead for death, for it is their only way to surviving,
Imagine if equality is the only quality to source of revenue in this earth,
And the livelihood of life is the life of a new born strive from birth,
Imagine if our verve was similar to the Prophets and their companion,
Imagine if perfection was the only perfect word in the whole lexicon,
Imagine never looking back in the past but only pass to succeed,
And the only pass to success is to lead, but never to need for greed,
Power is for the weak that require to battle in the midst of heat,
But instead I speak, let my voice be heard without the need to beat,
Imagine if art was a way of curing the sick mind,
If art defined what scientist never was able to find,
Imagine if truth could be witnessed only by our eyes,
Imagine if our eyes could recognize the concealed lies,
If deception could never disguise, then the world would have been faithful,
Imagine if hatred was replaced with love, and regret with grateful,
I close my eyes, and reach out beyond belief,
And when I open, I find myself in the midst of grief.

Alone I Stand

2007-11-17T02:27:00.001-08:00

You’ve shot my father,
You’ve hung my mother,
Raped my older sister,
Physically abused my brother,
Me!? you made me suffer,
Made me behold and watch my family give up their soul,
Shivering from the cold, no mother to hold,
”You never had a father” I have been told,
Sometimes in my dreams I picture, the horrible things I’ve captured,
Images of my sister crying “God, help me!”
Visualizing mother looking at me hopelessly,
Years have past, but I live life like today is my last,
Why oh why I’ve asked and answer had never been passed,
Always been the child of outcast, I’ve meant to outlast my family,
So I let myself live in life of misery,
Can’t erase those memories, I’ve gained through my history,
So I say it was my destiny, that meant to be,
Hopefully God has written other plans for me

Africa Wake Up Again!

2007-11-17T02:23:00.000-08:00

I hear my mother cry,
And when I ask why?
With tears she reply,

“My daughter goodbye
It has been a pleasure to have given birth,
And for what is worth, I have seen hell on earth,
I have seen blood spill and hunger berth,
Sand has turned into blood and dirt,
From joy to hurt, from streams to wasteland,
From where I stand –to warlords empty hand,
How can I take a command from an unholy man?
I, painfully stand, where mothers were being torn,
From the West to the Horn,
How can this be compared to the norm?
How can you equalize me to those who were born
…in freedom? Which we (Somalia) could never form”

Mother Africa,
Wake up again,
Stand up again,
Fight back again please,

I can’t be too sensitive when this is subjected
I’m living in a world that’s infected,
…with pain and struggle, that’s neglected
How can my wrongs be perfected?
…when life is hectic and never static?
My words are making me sick,
My mind is aching and I feel my nerves tick,
With poetry I reduce the panic,
I have no place to turn,
I feel the hate and the burn,
We seem to yearn for mistakes, but we never learn,
…so Mother Africa,
Wake up again,
Stand up again,
Fight back again please.

Jealousy Is Killing Me

2007-11-17T02:22:00.000-08:00

I hate you,
Yes I said it,
I hate you,
I have never loved you
Never will,
I look in your eyes,
Wanting to kill,
Despise your standing,
Wish you could fall,
But you remain tall while I crawl,
I cut for pain due to my numbness,
I want to feel something,
But all I feel is hate and anger,
Shattered dreams, and conquered soul,
I want to feel whole,
If anything, I want to feel all,
I nod my head, but words utter otherwise,
I pick myself up, and I try to rise,
I speak with hate and cries,
Who really am I?
And why do I continue to try?
Why can’t I just die?
Why can’t I finally say goodbye,
I’m slave in my own body,
I want to be set free from jealousy,
Because jealousy is killing me, slowly.

"Just The Two Of Us"

2007-11-17T02:20:00.001-08:00

We’ll conquer the world together,
Hold each other forever, and whenever
…we lose ‘ever’ we continue to never lose hope,
…and when the weather brings sadness we’ll cope
…with warmth of our lips and the touch of our kiss,
How can I ever miss, this equation of us equals bliss,
How can I ever exist without my other half?
How can this graph increase with happiness, which I won’t have,
If the two of us don’t pass, how can I ever laugh?
How can I share pleasure, if sadness overlaps?
How would I be able to unwrap this trap?
How can I release myself from such crap?
I would never leave you sad, but I would be glad,
…To have you on my lap, and listen to this track,
“Just the two of us, we can make it if we try”
…and then rewind that shit back,
I’m seriously addicted to you like crack,
And if I don’t have you, I’ll die of heart attack,
Now take a closer look at us,
’Cause it always remain “Just the two of us”

Mind Games

2007-11-10T02:31:00.001-08:00

Why do we need twist this love we share?
When all I care about is being fair,
Why do I need to tell you lies to win?
When all I want to bring is my love from down within,
Why do I need to deceive my mind-set?
When all I get at the end is regret,
Why do I need to play hard?
When I know you’re my stand guard,
Why do you refuse to hold my hand?
Why is it hard for you to take a firm stand?
Why can’t we do our love confessions?
…utter them three expressions,
Why do we persist to hurt one another?
Why can we insist to love each other?
What do we gain from, besides this pain?
Why do we play this mind game?

Bittersweet

2007-10-18T14:11:00.000-07:00

You and I,
…and bittersweet,
How can I,
…be on this bitter treat,
I –try to greet but bittersweet
…doesn’t want me to lead,
I want to be just with you,
But I’m stuck with bittersweet too,
This led me to hating you,
But I swear I love you,
…want to hug you,
…kiss you
…be with you,
…I do,
But I also want to run,
Scream “we’re done”
…and say goodbye son,
…and be gone,
But, how can I?
When I finally succumbed
How can we?
When we finally have summed,
..To what we have became?
For bittersweet love has left us in shame,
For it left me cursing out your last name,
Screaming and clashing, with pain,
I love you, but bittersweet fucks me in the brain,
“Fuck you, and don’t come back again”
I scream and complain, knowing our love will remain the same,
It’s time we let this chain loose, for we lose more then we gain,
Even though they say “no pain, no game”
Bittersweet is literally driving me insane.

Fans

2007-10-18T14:01:00.000-07:00

I just write like a blind man,
Gone insane,
I compose lyrics to release pain,
But pain decided to refrain,
So I write poetry to complain,
…but my pain remains
…so shit stays the same,
Now tell me what you see,
When you read this?
Tell me if my shit is worthless,
Tell me if I need to write less,
To the mindless,
Or if my poetry progressed with success,
Tell me what you witness?
Tell me if this is real mess,
Can you feel my stress?
By the way I digress away from the sentences?
Please tell me if I’m making sense,
Tell me and I try not to play defense,
Throw me your two cents,
And I try not to be dense,
Release my mind muscles, to be less tense,
I welcome your comments with wide open fence,
Nevertheless I hope my poetry keeps you in suspense,
‘Cause I write for you, those sitting in the audience,
My respectful, caring, loving FANS!

Rich Vs. the Poor

2007-10-14T02:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Friend

2007-09-25T05:26:00.000-07:00

I tried to imagine her last tears, as I said goodbye,
I wiped off the tears from her cheek, and said “please don’t cry”
I’m trying to imagine your pain, as you’re reading my goodbye,
We have laughed and cried for joy, as we sat in the crowd,
Had our ups and downs, but remained to keep our friendship avowed,
We even argued at times out loud, but our friendship outstood firmly proud,
Malak al-Maut will have me in his arms, carrying me to the highest cloud,
But I will hold you in my thoughts as I’m being put to death,
Reminiscing our only happy days while exhaling my last breath,
Remember when I said that you were my only soul mate?
I meant every word, and I’m writing you this before it’s too late,
How can I ever forget or even try to forget?
I will conceal all the things you’ve said,
And the promises I’ve kept, will I always remain our secret,
Please laugh when I’m gone, don’t show sign of sadness,
All I ever want you to do is live in happiness, life of full bliss,
I’m shedding tears, as I’m trying my best to write this,
…in my soul, you will always exist,
In my mind and heart, you will always be missed,
No matter what the judgments are, that I will face,
But memories I will never erase,
It’ll be embraced in a special place,
…a space that only Allah can replace,
Keep me proud and keep me in your pray,
I will count on you, if I fall short on the judgment day,
Goodbye for now…For now I can’t stay,
I love you,

Your friend,
Poeticonscious

Free Somalia

2007-09-25T05:25:00.000-07:00

I speak freely, but my words are kept concealed,
I can see clearly, but my vision is left unrevealed,
I speak with my mothers tongue, but hatred is all I hear,
I fight with my fathers’ heart, but pain and death is my fear,
I think with a mind so sharp, but anger has me confused,
I believed in freedom, but my freedom has been excused,
I write words of art, but art died in the hands of Cilmi Bodhari, (legendary)
Now I’m left with nothing, and nothing is in this poetry,
Can I really be expecting to see, my country so peacefully?
Without the numbers of death increasing in the books of history?
Can we really establish a government that’s beyond average?
Without the need to kill our own, and increase the damage,
How can I ever raise the flag with a smile on my face?
How can I ever touch this flag and try my best to embrace
…when people have died and shed blood, for one place?
How can we replace the hatred that left us in disgrace?
Could we ever erase, what left us in pain? (Tribes)
…which left us with nothing but shame?
How can we ever explain to the humane?
…that the reasons why we fought were due to tribal names,
How could we disclaim-each other, when we’re all the same?
How could we kill one another, when Islam is in the frame?
Can we maintain a unity and fight our own enemy, with the need to fall?
Can we sustain to protect our country, with the power of One for All?
Matter fact, I need to free me,
But first I need to free thee,
So we can free each other,
Which will Free Somalia!

Can We Reunite Again?

2007-09-20T00:56:00.001-07:00

When will we reunite?
When will we hold hands tight, and decide,
To put our differences aside,
When will we hide our tribe, to stop the fight?
When will our light shine bright?
And will our kids sleep safely at night?
When do we see the sun, without the mist?
And will we catch all the love we’ve missed?
When will Islam be put on the list?
And erase the warlords with One fist,
When will we cure the pain?
…to build back our name
When will we erase the shame?
To have Somalia reunite again,
When will Somalia be known?
And will I ever go back home?
…without the fear of my own,
When do we stop wishing?
When do we stop reminiscing?
And when will the warlords stop insisting,
When will we finally cope and never elope?
…and will we ever find the gone hope,
When can I finally stand?
When can I finally touch my sand?
When can we finally have peace in our land?
When can we stop the demands, and lend a hand?
When can we close this pain, to put “history” stamp,
When will we reunite again?
When will we reunite again?
The questions remains, can we reunite again?

Hunger:

2007-09-19T07:57:00.000-07:00

Oh the look in their eyes,
When they beg for food,
How can I deny their cries?
When they deserve all good,

I extend my hand to the hungry child,
To put a piece of bread on his plate,
He hid pain in those eyes, when he smiled,
This kept me wondering while he ate,

How would I ever know how he feels?
How would I describe it to the unknown?
How would it feel to miss three daily meals?
Would poverty take over my homegrown?

How can I take life for granted, when I have more then enough?
How can I ask for more, when I have more then the above?
How can I deny the truth, when the truth has put me into test?
How can I fail to recognize The Maker of All Things, for he will put me to rest?
How will I appreciate for what I have, for I have gotten everything I need?
Therefore, to Allah I plead,
For the greed, never to mislead the innocent, but proceed to help them succeed,
…and to feed—their hunger.

Beauty Of Life

2007-09-08T15:32:00.000-07:00

Beautify the inner side of life?
Having five kids and a loving wife,
Hard working man, whose duty, is to strive,
Build a healthy future for his kids to picture,
Give his kids the lecture of what they beholds is a treasure,
To capture the nature however not to harm,
But to open their arms to keep it warm,
(Boys)Teach life but don’t teach violence,
(Girls)Teach beauty but also teach confidence,
Acknowledge that silence is authority,
Respect those who deserve your integrity,
To get respect back in honesty,
The distance of love is far from hatred,
The distance of hate is close to desperate (to be loved)
Humans are never satisfied with their own needs,
We feed the greed while the poor need to eat!
Why despise my tribe when I dislike dispute,
The negativity I dilute so I keep it mute,
Through pain we gain dilution,
Fusion between you and me,
The inner beauty for others to sense and see, positively,
The purpose why I wrote this, is for you to realize,
That life is more than what psychologist can hypnotize,
Not idolize those who victimize but to keep life in ease,
God please, I’m bowing down on my knees,
Let those peeps in Middle East live in peace,
Africa is dying of Malaria with no medication to heal,
If I had one wish, Africa would know how full stomach feels,
Why is it different when John kills, his religion is unknown?
And when Hussein commits suicide bombing,Islam is so quick shown?
I know life is unpredictable, unexplainable, but ********* is discreditable!
If ninety percent believes we’re from Adam and Eve,
Why mislead and deceive the innocent into grief?
Why would one lie to make another cry?
Why oh why?

Leave Me Alone

2007-09-07T17:31:00.000-07:00

Intellectually I speak,'

Cause my mind leaks,

With words and rhymes that need,

Heart and honesty,

I question, this corruption,

That got us living in poor,

I can't ignore, I'm so sore,

They dig me deep down to the core,

Oh Lord, Help us,

Why can't they let us live,

Let us achieve our goals,

Let us live in peace without war,

We're blinded from the truth,

Can't live without dues,

To many rules, to many insane people on loose,

We got politician's who act the fools,

We can't live without these,

All we need is world peace,

Especially in the Middle East,

Fighting and being killed while it's Ramadan,

I read the Du'as in the Quran for Islam,

They say they're looking for terrorist,

While they're killing innocent kids, and their parents,

I came here for freedom,

Not for ya to batter my religion,

Simply 'cause I'm a Muslim,

Now they hate me, because I use my wisdom,

Making sensible decisions and judgments,

I wear 'Hijab' for custom, just to tell them,

Who I am, and what I want,

And what I want is for you to leave me alone.

2007-09-07T17:25:00.000-07:00

Poetry!

It was a talent that God has provided me,

Perhaps I am to be,

A nomad, with no land,

Its hard to believe, to see and understand,

But here I am, trying to answer your question,

And its a bit of a confession,

I’m from a region where regeneration is hard,

My vision of rejuvenation doesn’t play any part,

Seeing little brothers and sisters stabbed in the heart,

Fighting fathers and crying mothers,

Asking, why do we even bother?

It’s so wretched! How Africa is still famished of hunger,

And Tsunami victims were so rapid to recover,

However, its not tribe that’s divided my homeland,

Its businesses that was build by the rich men,

Insha Allah, I will touch my home sand,

Hopefully I wont die as a NO-LAND!

(That’s why I write poetry to express me ---

creativity of my intellectuality ---relates to thee ---

and I stand SOMALIA like the statue of liberty)

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

2007-09-07T17:08:00.000-07:00

Mirror, mirror on the wall,

Remember me? Your best pal,

I used the clean 'your' dirty spots to see 'me' clear,

Whenever I needed to cry, I used to sit here,

Mirror, mirror remember you told me those lies,
Told me I looked better in the devils eyes,

See the truth, sometimes lies when I'm happy,

Because happiness sometimes lies to me,

Confusions -mirrors illusions -mind delusions,

I'm accusing -for my mirror was abusing -my innocent soul,

Or was my soul part of this deceiving foul, part of this wicked goal,

Mirror, mirror on the wall,I swear I hate you, of them all,

I thought you concealed all of my secrets from being known,

Used to share each tear drop, as it poured at the floor back at home,

Hid from the mankind shown,

But now that I'm grown,

Little did I found, I was on my own,

Mirror -remember-when mother thought I was depressed,

You told me to 'relax, no need to stress

...told me to go out and have the 'teenage happiness'

I smiled and tilt my chin off my chest,

I said, 'Mirror, mirror you're the best,'

As I smoke 'swisher sweets' on my right hand,

Drinking alcohol with my 'best-friend'

As I remember the words you said 'again & again'

I came home late, drunk and confused,

My brain was abused -intoxicated,

I waited -till my mirror was clear for me to see,

I opened my eyes with tears, and my mirror!

Wasn’t there for me,

(It appeared, that my mirror disappeared, to a place called dreams;

Mirror will deceive, answers you'll receive, but it's not always what it seems.)

The True Love:

2007-09-07T00:32:00.001-07:00

I never understood man,
Perhaps never wanted to understand,
I tried to expand my heart to an extend,
And I still seem not to comprehend,
I played defense, and at times it didn’t make sense,
But never bothered to play offense, so I stayed tense,
And whenever the ball was played over my fence,
Didn’t bother to catch, and went back to my shell,
See in this way I never had to rebel, rather said “oh well!”
…and moved on with my life, without the need to dwell,
Some said I’m scared, but was more careless then dared,
Careless on being paired, care-more for being shared,
Complicated to be compared, and confused to be repaired,
I wasn’t willing to lose virginity for the sake of love,
Unless love, consisted of;
House,
Children,
Religion,
Good health,
….anything of the above,
I’ve tried to give myself some time, to think it through,
But Truth knocked on my door and said “I love you”

I’ve learned lessons without making mistakes,
I’ve learned love without the need of heartbreaks,
I’ve learned pain without being bit by a snake,
I’ve learned evil without the need to partake and fake,
I’ve found faith, due to my patience for destiny,
I’ve found love, because purity was precious to me.

Mr. Freedom

2007-09-06T00:03:00.000-07:00

Now Freely is the son of Freedom,
And had a daughter called little Free,
And Free always liked the dark,
In fact, evil was her true mark,
Freely would leave Free drifting in the park,
Until she got screwed by a man called Mr. Politic Shark
Mr. Politic was against her father Mr. Freedom,
And told Freedom was too free to be freely,
Ruined all his money by producing Freely and Free,
Politic gave Free a gun to kill her daddy,
And Freely was too weak to fight Free,
…now Freedom was killed by his own daughter,
Freely was left without a father,
And Free married Mr. Politic later,
…this made her,
Mrs. FREE POLITIC!

You seek freedom,
And say “free them!”
But freedom,
Never freed him,
But free left death and pain,
Because Freedom is just a name,

Fear Of Flying!

2007-08-28T22:49:00.000-07:00

You recognize the sweetness of life when you're on the edge of death,
We cry at birth for joy and weep at the end for our last breath,
How can I be hunger for truth, when truth was known?
How can I miss prayer, when day and night was shown?
How can I desire happiness in the way of the kufar?
How can I ignore warnings when I heard “Allahu Akbar”?
Let me breathe in life, exhale the truth, and recognize reality,
I know I pursued the wrong path, but I’m asking for mercy,
God you see! I will do better if life prolongs for me,
I’ve knocked down walls, yet not gained much at all,
I recall when I wanted to wear skirts and shawl,

...until I heard Satan call
With monsters I brawled, in darkness I’ve crawled,
Now I’m rising 10,000s feet above ground, scared to fall!

Frustrated

2007-08-26T14:29:00.001-07:00

Time is taking a tour of my life,
These days keep passing me by,
Trying to figure why,
And where my destination lies,
God, please hear these cries,
I want to be able to win and not loose
I'm accused of being confused,
Yet I refuse to be abused,
…my rules I want to bend,
I want to improve, my body and strength,
Be who I want to be, even if they say “you can't”
I don't need ignorant people to make me understand,
I just want to use my knowledge—go to college,
Make my parents proud of me and show her what I've accomplished,
Before I vanish from a world that's trying to take advantage—of me,
That's why I cry to thee,
So please Lord, Help me,
Lead me to the road that Aisha and Mariama went,
Lead me to the road that the prophets were sent,
Please --I'm here on my knees, beggin',
Praying to you every day that I can,
So I can be the one promised to go to heaven,
I try so hard, not to be too far,
Pray for those that live in a world of scar,
Those innocent Muslims behind the bar,
Send them help to survive the war,
They show mercy-when Tsunami hits innocent victims,
But I guess it's different -when you're killing -innocent Muslims,
My rhymes --last like chronic,
I vomit --every time I hear politics
So this I skip,
Matter fact,
F--k it,
This world is so corrupted,
Its ignorant people and their dumb shit,
Though I wished I could have changed it,
I can't take it,
But I hope I can make it. (Difference)

Lyrical Outbreak

2007-08-26T01:03:00.000-07:00

I don’t enjoy writing poetry, but poetry enjoys writing me,
And each time I script words kindly, painful tears burst out free,
…so I express myself freely, until the moment my ink runs empty,
Then I vomit letters, that form words that are built to make sense,
I get enormously tense, each time I form the next sentence,
I like to play with words and puzzle it into lines, (to build excellence)
But it’s not easy to put sweet words, into bitter rhymes,
I’m bored out of my sane mind –now I’m lyrically & insane, combined,
My friends left me behind, because Saturday was there night to dine,
Instead I feed off poetry, which is the only way I get mine,
Call me junior Mos Def, because I make the deaf mostly hear death,
…free the blind from the unseen, and feed the addicts words full of meth,
It’s too hard for my rival to find their path, so I let them catch their breath,
I’m waiting for another lyricist nick, so I can finally put this text to rest,
I’m guaranteed to outshine any bitch in this script, try to put me to test,
I’m innocent like a bird and fly like an eagle, until you mess with my nest,
Yes, I’m trying to confess, that I’m officially aiming to be the best,
I’m not trying to impress or be more then less I already Iz,
Ebonically I flow, lyrically I’m blow,
Ironically you know, exotically I show,
…there is nothing more to say, off I go.

2007-08-22T12:23:00.000-07:00

Poeticonscious Politic Views;

First of all, I hope everyone who’s reading this blog is in good health, and blessed in every angle. Secondly, I have received couple of emails from several readers, who were wondering about my political views in Somalia (East Africa) and what I think should happen or happened in Somalia.

What do you think about the country?

What I want my readers to know is that, I’m hoping the best for my country and most of what I write in this blog is definitely motivated by what has happened, and the struggle my people have gone through in the past. Yes, people have died, people have bled, people have lost, and people have suffered from what happened in the war, but I don’t think we should dwell in the past, but learn from our mistakes and move on to the future. Its unbelievable how many people are still speaking dreadfully about other people’s tribe, having the knowledge what happened in the past was due to the same predicament they speak in till this day on. We were given tribes, not to divide each other, but to identify one another, which is the equation that most Somali’s have hard time solving.

What do you think about the recent war?

It was very excruciating, and terrifying. When we thought things were getting better, things essentially got worse. It was very daunting to see two political groups battling with each other, without looking at the tussle of the innocent civilians that were trapped in the chaos. You had the Islamic Union Court, whom were fighting under the name of God vs. the Government who were fighting under the name of _____ I don’t know, perhaps the country, and in between the heat were the innocent civilians who were stuck in the middle, both groups were being egoistic and too greedy to look what was best for the people who have suffered +16 years, but rather too voracious to have “power”.

I know I couldn’t answer all the questions, but I promise (insha Allah) to get back with some more answers. Keep making my inbox full, I truly enjoy it.

Guilty

2007-08-22T10:35:00.000-07:00

Shall I feel guilty for feeling sad?
…for I have read a book,
Shall I feel guilty for being mad?
…for I have watched a crook,

Shall I feel guilty for being happy?
…for I have sisters and brothers still alive?
Shall I feel guilty for being me?
…for I breathe unlike those that couldn’t survive,

Shall I feel guilty for being Muslim?
…for I follow the current Prophet (scw)
Shall I feel guilty for protecting a religion?
…for I will be punished to ever regret,

Shall I feel guilty for giving the poor?
…for I have been in the same predicament,
Shall I feel guilty for giving less then more?
…for I am rewarded to give and to repent,

I shall always feel guilty for I am not innocent,
…for I have what the poor never had,

I shall always feel guilty for the worthless spent,
…for I am blessed to have bread and mattress pad,

I am guilty for trashing foods, for I am full,
I am guilty for bashing moods, for I am dull,
I am guilty until proven innocent …for I am null

In Memory Of You

2007-08-20T07:37:00.000-07:00

They tell me that love would make me blind
…that love is one of a kind, that can be unkind,
But you have defined my life, like no other mankind,
Portray my ups and downs, while others were trying to find,
…No matter how far the distance is, I still keep you in mind,
My friends tell me to move on, and leave you behind,
Although I tried --and tried to put you aside,
…my feelings inside weren’t able to let things slide,
Feelings clashed like Jekyll and Hyde,
Later bonded like Bonnie and Clyde --left us bona fide,
I know you’re on the far side, but in my heart and mind you reside,
I lyrically spit these words to get through,
While I move on with the leftover memories of you,
You’re now gone for me to miss
Reminisce of our soul kiss,
Your last day was my last bliss,
I tried to consent at this,
But you resist—to exist in my heart,
And I keep painting this abstract art,
--to express for the most parts,
And when the reality kicks in,
You were my one and only Nin (man)
…that made me comprehend,
Le monde est pour que nous conquièrent,
Right then --I know you were heaven sent,
I thought the world was never going to end,
As long as you were breathing,
But now that you’re gone, my heart is aching,
My soul is taking—over me,
Why is it that I can’t live happily?
God please answer me,
I’m bleeding in this canto,
Expressing my feelings in impromptu,
Writing “…in memory of you”

Dear Father

2007-08-20T07:34:00.000-07:00

It was in 1996, when the world has turned me down,
Looked around, but there was no single soul to be found,
I was a young child, lost and baffled in the woods,
Had all the bad days, but couldn’t find any goods,
I was taught to be a survivor, and find my way home,
Couldn’t show my fears, so I pretended to be strong,
Deep down, wishing that my father came along,
Smelling the scent of his strong cologne, he used to put it on,
We were the perfect homegrown, until he left to a place unknown,
Wondering why he would leave us in this cold mess,
So I went on a journey to find his new address,
Walking barefooted, hungry and feel less –blessed,
I wrote words to express and release all the stress,
But none of these words seemed to make me relax,
Dear Father,
You told me “anger is for the weak, and patients build strengths”
If anger was a measurement, no one in this world would know my length,
Daddy I need to confess, I never cried on the day of your death,
Didn’t want to make you feel sad, so I instead toke a deep breath,
You left a mother full of tears and aches,
…and siblings with full of regret and heart breaks,
I was the youngest in the house, so you kept me from harm,
If jealousy would arouse, you would keep me in your arms,
Now, I spend most of my times in my room, in my bed,
With cold feet writing words of art, under my blanket,
I gave money out to the poor, so God would help you more,
Prayed five times, so God would open the heavenly door,
I know many continue to adore, how you gave them a life to live for,
That’s why I love you daddy, and I wish you could see,
How a daughter you raised, turned out to be,
Don’t worry aabo, I’m still aiming for the number seven,
So Insha Allah we meet, in the highest heaven,

Sincerely Yours,

Your ever-loving daughter

(Dedicated To My Father Who Has Passed Away)

To My Lovely Fans...

2007-08-17T13:45:00.000-07:00

I want to thank my fans, who kindly have supported me throughout my poetic crisis. I wouldn’t have reached this far, if it wasn’t for your positive feedbacks to my poetry. Please continue to email me or leave your comments, and I will contact you back ASAP.

Thank you,

PoetiConscious.

Contact Info;
poeticonscious@hotmail.com
http://www.poeticonscious.blogspot.com/

The One

2007-08-17T13:44:00.000-07:00

From the day I met you, till now,
We linger to retain our vow,
…and how we disallow,
…people to get between the two of us,
Plus, all they leave us is in the dust with their fuss,
And I can’t live without you, ‘cause our love is a must,
I remain to script you these words, my xabibi,
As I ask my Rabi for mercy and blessings for this destiny,
Together infinity we‘ll be, so we can see, how our life is meant to be,
The good and the bad times, I’ll be there to care for you as you defend me,
Right or wrong with you I agree,
Innocent or guilty with you I plea,
In your heart I flea, seeking for refugee,
You’re like the air I breathe when I feel relieved,
You’re a million dollar dream that I've achieved,
You’re my seven layered heaven I received,
I believed I could move on, but I keep coming back,
Knowing that I lack running in this circled track,
Its like a voodoo attack that I can’t beat,
I’m longing for your smell every time I try to cheat,
Is like a puppy missing his cookie treat,
Is like skipping a beat in my heart, feeling incomplete,
Indeed you are my day and night, moon and the sun,
From the day I met you, I knew you were the one,

My Poetry

2007-08-17T13:35:00.001-07:00

Let me present my poetry to those who don’t know,
What it does for me and how I like to flow,
Its like a fantasy world I under go, when I’m down below
I’m like the old fashioned beauty of poetry like Merlyn Monroe,
Still alive --and still feel the vibe and ---still freshly ripe whenever I type,
I’m like the new ritual of peace pipe,
They endure to question me “Lyrical, what’s your tribe?”
Hawiye, Darood and Madhiban I remain to jibe,
Swing all ways with a mind that’s focused bright,
I’m Somali why would I chose a side, when many have died?
Last time I tried, my people have divide, and my country collided
So I decided ---to write my poetry in ease,
…with tears I write for my country for peace.

My Best Friend

2007-08-17T13:33:00.000-07:00

The only friend I had in the hood,
…is leaving me for good,
If I could –I swear I would,
...take back my friend for good,
I don’t know if whether I should,
…let her go for good,

Two years of friendship felt like a century,
Older couple of years, so you pampered me,
Did everything I need it very tenderly,
Fought now and then but it never bothered thee,
Rather constructed our friendship very strongly,
Was there for me mentally and physically,
Never spoke in vain but spoke very positively,
If I cry in this script please don’t mind me?
Because I’m already in tears mildly,
I know its time to move on in life,
Get married and have few or five,
Can’t believe you’re becoming a wife,
Finally hitting the thrive and moving up to strive,
I’m not willing to live without a true friend,
So what is there to do then?
…let you leave me here alone,
Leave me in this so-called home,
Remain to have a verbal conversation on the phone,
But Walaahi, I can’t stand having you gone,

A Place

2007-08-17T13:32:00.001-07:00

I’m from a place where beauty is not seen,
…souls are mean,
…blood shed between --people with the same Deen,

I’m from a place where we have lost and yet nothing gained,
…a place where the reasons are still unexplained, but left us drained,

I’m from a place where I agonize from the after-image,
So much misunderstandings yet share one language,

What is this curse we can’t find, that made us blind,
That made us fall behind, from the rest of the mankind,

If we believe in “Islam” the religion of peace,
Why is it that we can’t find ease?
No matter how much I beg ‘oh Allah, please’
We find warlord expertise that are hard to please,

No matter how much our people bleed,
There are those who fight for greed.

What we need --is each other,
We need to succeed --together.

"Why Oh Why"

2007-08-17T12:47:00.001-07:00

Intellectually I speak
…with a mind that leaks,
…and a heart that’s weak,

Today I came across a sign that made me realize,
A sign that opened my eyes and made me criticize,
…of how narrow minded some people could be,
Celebrating the blood of victory, something irreligiously,
Walking down the memorial; people waving the American Flag,
Wearing t-shirts “Support our troops” scripted in the back,
Motorcylers tattooed “Eagle” on the side of their neck,
The country –who accepted me –and gave me food,
Gave me education –gave me all they could,
How can these evil people treat me so good?
Am I a project their after to make a name for their own?
Did they accept me ‘cause of the tears I’ve shown?
Or to claim to have Muslim citizens living at home?
Questions running circles in my mind,
Searching for answers that I’m not able to find,
This is not matter of oil or money anymore!
How could you invade homes and kill the poor?

This sign opened my eyes, today,
Made me see the reality, with the message they convey,
What else can I say?
Brothers and sisters, today is the day,
For you to grab the chance and pray,
…don’t turn away for your faith
Start now, for tomorrow might be too late.

War For Peace

2007-08-17T09:39:00.002-07:00

I look in his eyes, and then I realize that life is unfair,
How can my people rise, if we continue to fall in despair?
When will we stand as one, as we sit together as all on track?
When will we hold hands as we rise and never fall back?
As I ask these questions, I wipe off my lonely tears from my eyes,
Staring at these hungry children makes me appreciate my cries,
I can’t compare my pain to theirs, so my tears are truly lies,
I can’t even begin to describe, how I feel deep within,
Qabiil has become a disease–living in our deep skin,
I’m angry at their hunger and pain,
I want to show you my poetry isn’t here for fame,
I simply want to show you, my words are driving me insane,
I plead on my knees, for this world of unease –to trade war for peace.

Dear Diary II

2007-08-17T09:39:00.001-07:00

I’m sad that you had to see my bitter poetry,
I never meant to make you heart cry for me,
If I could take back my poor actions, I would,
Baby, I would take back my words if I could,
Walaahi, I like you loads and I’m not lying,
Let’s not stop our feelings and keep trying,
…lets keep fighting
I never had the guts to adjust,
This jealousy is unjust
But I feel like I must gain trust,
Baby let’s get back to us,
I see you have deleted me from your list,
I see my anger has turned into a fist,
And I know you’re pissed,
Can we go back to what we had?
Walaahi I apologize for what I said,
Now I feel like I’m brain dead,
Don’t know what to say any more,
I just want to hold you near and close the door,
Have you on my side of the floor,
Can you please forgive me for what I said before?
Because my head aches and my heart is sore,
Qalbi, you’re the only one I life for,

Dear Diary I

2007-08-17T09:38:00.000-07:00

I’m back again with a bitter notions,
Staring at the screen with an embitter emotions,
Giving you words with simple harmonic motions,
Dear diary, this is my confession put in texture,
I can express to you without receiving any lecture,
So please hold me, while I hold you tightly,
I keep bleeding on this paper, while pleading guilty,
For not giving him hundred percent effort,
Even though I felt the comfort yet I felt the extort,
Confused and defused at the same time,
Bitter and sweet in the same line,
I can imagine sleeping on your lap while I take a nap,
Killed my imagination by falling in an apparent trap,
I’m not mad yet not glad, but sad about whatever you two had,
I wish we could have gone far, but it’s too bad,
Keep friends close but keep your enemies closer is what you said,
So I keep you closer as I keep her close,
I’m cheating you with my poetry, and “I love what I compose”

I'm Innocent

2007-08-16T14:09:00.000-07:00

I compose –war I oppose
–hate of politics I suppose,
Conflicts, love, and life I prose,
Hypothetically I speak,
with a mind that leaks,
I bleed through the sheet, to recite my needs,
Addiction, contradiction with the world’s confliction,
I don’t write my poetry for the seek of attention, it’s an abrasion of compulsion,
A little obsession and infatuation for writing my sentiment in public,
I predict –rhymes like a psychic,
Isn’t it ironic –how anarchic people are septic –with hate?
Love-peace in religion and race would put politics into fate,
Scale from one to ten, what would be my rate?
I wonder! But whatever –no matter –I evaluate –
I’m upper than what you’re under,

My intellect is bigger –than an alcoholics gutter,
I’m not for dictators but I’m a bit bitter like Hitler,
I battle –right in the center like the gladiator,
Why is it --

I’m guilty of a crime I haven’t committed?
I am a bit too harsh on the politics, I admitted,

But I submit my concept in caution,
It’s a dedication to precision, prevision –provided by me!
I’m innocent until proven guilty.

Somalia

2007-08-16T13:58:00.000-07:00

I recite my anthem, like I’m the only one standing,
Put your hands up like a champion, I’m demanding,
Feel the breeze –feel the ease –while I face the east,
Hungry children and the tears of their mothers, I pray for these,
Fake politics, worthless qabiilist, fake Extremist, I care about least,
Blood has spilled, many have been killed, and few could survive,
Can you tell me who we the blame for these innocent lives?
I envision my history that left misery, stuck with us like a curse,
I rhyme till my stomach hurts, and I bleed words—to endorse—freedom,
Now can we free’ them—while we pray to Him,
Or shall we wait for another day, to come our way,
So we can say –or point fingers on the judgment day?
Can we leave the past behind without questions asked?
Cause tomorrow will pass, while focused in the past,
…and today wont even last,
…and the world goes by fast
While we’re sitting on our ass, and regret what we have,
…and forget what we had,
But say Alxamdulilah for what Allah has given us
Remember to give –to get while being courteous,
Sad or happy—Allah has always a purpose,
So I say this—while I compose what I oppose,
Who I hate the most?—are those foes—that continue to harm
Enough is enough, put down the firearms,
And stand like the statue of liberty!
Let’s stand SOMALIA proudly –
…and sing “SOMALIA TOSOW” loudly!

Struggle

2007-08-16T13:56:00.000-07:00

It all started in 1992,
Pain,
Struggle,
Death and
Hate,
Somewhere along those lines, I found myself marveling in faith,

For me;
Home existed in the heart beat of my mothers,
…The struggle of my father,
…The pain of my sister,
…And the death of my brother,

Yesterday wasn’t just an ordinary day for me,
…it was a day I missed the heated bullets,
...a day I survived hunger,
…a day I saw the bleeding of my brother,

Tomorrow is another day of survival,
...it’ll be a day I dodge the bullets,
…a day I search for food,
…a day I see the blood of dying another,

Every day, I live in a cycle of pain,
The next morning is a day of survival again
My history isn’t a mystery,
But a misery lived by me,
I’ll tell you ‘her-story’ marked as his-story,
Put on shelves at the library,
Labeled as “African poetry”
My sonata is bit contrary, like extraordinary,
I’ve been chased around like tom did jerry,
I’ve been accused around like the virgin marry,
I’ve been told stories turned into bad fairy,
Watched my father being carried,
Watched my brother being buried,
Watched my sister getting married, while her husband remarried,
Watched my younger siblings ferried,
I’m left with hope and faith,
Which I cope with hate,
And when my eyes dilate,
With tears I pray to thee,
...I pray to the One who made –me

Who Am I

2007-08-16T13:55:00.002-07:00

I was given an Arabic name by my mother,
…a last name that belongs to my grandfather,
…this was wrapped in a gift to his granddaughter,

I belong in a tribe that I never got to choose,
…calling me names like “your tribe are the Jews”
…but you’re left wondering, how it feels to be in my shoes,

A skin color that I was never able to refuse,
…but that comes in use –when I need an excuse,
…like when the white men is trying to abuse, my use—

I was born as a Muslim, due to my parent’s religious views,
…and now I’m being accused for a bomb misuse,
…and now the CNN News thinks I’m a terror on the loose,

I’m stuck in a full body with an empty soul,
…I tried to feed it with prayers, but it remains null,
…so no matter how optimistic I appear, I remain dull,

Friends were trying to frame, who I really am,
…so they gave me a pathetic nick name,
…called me lyrical-n-sane, which now I claim

…some say “Masha Allah” and some “God damn”
…some appreciate my tribe and some just can’t stand,
…some honor my color and some aren’t a big fan,
…some respect my religion and some don’t understand,
…some like my nick and some prefer my Arabic name,
Hate me or love me, ‘I am who I am’

My Dreams

2007-08-16T13:55:00.001-07:00

If my dreams could come true,
…you wouldn’t be far from me,
Keep you where my eyes could see,
Keep you where my hand could reach,
Where my mouth could preach,
Where my feet could rub,
While I have it drenched in the tub,
I want hear you sing while I take a nap,
Stroke my head while I lay on your lap,

If my dreams could come true,
We would be the only once that remains in this world,
Have our own privacy while I remain your only girl,
We would never need money to gratify our needs,
Follow God’s rule while we do good deeds,
The term “sin” will never be in our vocabulary,
Matter fact we would articulate in the language of poetry,
And when I converse artistically, you would see, how much you mean to me,
…and how our love could be–on top of the world, like Mase and Brandy,

If my dreams could come true,
My family would never criticize your tribe,
They would see that my love is on your side,
…they would feel our vibe, that makes it right,
They would know you’re my light, that goes bright at night,
And when the day comes –you’re my only sight,
You’re my brother and my missing rib,
Without you, my heart would rip,
Without you my life is a fib,
If my dreams could come true,
I WOULD HAVE YOU …

Hopeless

2007-08-16T13:54:00.000-07:00

I don’t need drugs to write, I’m naturally high,
Close my eyes, while I listen to mankind trying to lie,
They say education is free –while I find myself bend,
They say “you got the right to remain silence” but they ignore the Fifth Amendment?
They shut me up when I try to speak,
Then I seek another form of being meek,
But pain and struggle finds me laying weak,
…in the alley of the back streets,
While I try to find something to eat,
Pushing shopping cart trying to find cans and treats,
Wiping off the sweat while trying to fight the heat,
…but the air I breathe remains sweet,
I’m homeless –every time I feel hopeless,
Cut myself with a pocket knife –but I remain painless,
I climbed up this ladder, trying to reach higher,
…only to find myself in an open fire,
Have no choice but to climb down to look for a living desire,
I keep sleeping in little spaced patches,
Newspaper and carton as my mattress,
…and every morning I keep smiling like an actress,
I believe life is a test –another contest for me to win,
I release my stress in this context to feel less stin’,
To unleash the pain and all the other sh*t I’m in,
…to be continue